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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

On 10:44 AM by KiAnna   1 comment

The purity of a child's innocence I envy,
I am a used ball of clay,
I am molded and shaped into whatever he wants to see,
because I need love and affection,
I dont care that I will one day wear out,
because the passion I feel right now
makes up for the hurt i'll feel later...
....until next time,
I haven't really loved myself in a long time,
or at least I think I haven't,
because if I loved myself I would have been as successful as I planned... I wouldnt have put myself in harms way,
I wouldn't continuously have such a hatred for myself...

I'm kind of at a loss as to what I am on earth for,
I feel like I'm taking up space,
It would help everyone if i was just one less worry,

Someone told me that I was loved,
someone told me that I am special,
Someone made me reconsider my drastic contemplation,
Because if I end it all,
i would be missed,
and that my contemplation would only mean I'm running away from my problems,
and that a better day would come tomorrow,
and a whole lot of positive things that I've yet to see myself,

I'll stay in this hell we call life another day,
all I ask is that can I have a friend to be here.... to wipe away my tears?

1 comment:

  1. Wow , that was deep. I was there too, and I commend you for being so real. I lot of people would be too proud to admit their flaws, but you are continuing to keep it real. I remember when I was in that state of mind, my sister came to me and said"Nessy, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". that bouhg it home for me. As far as that a**hole that I was grieving over,now he is a drunk, a loser, and a bum all rolled up into one. I shudder to think I thought about ending it all over him.

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