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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

On 6:41 PM by KiAnna   No comments
Hippie Fairyland I swear that's where my head resides right now in peace and I'm gonna stay here  while I map out my future and continue to grow on it. This pic I purposely edited to make it rather psychedelic and surreal, I didn't want many fine lines...

My cleavage wasn't my focus when I chose this photo but I forgot they are a serious distraction lol I have another picture where I feel the small change in lighting takes your immediate attention away from my breasts more so towards the light in the background. And then back to me.

Or maybe it's because I'm still in Hippie Fairyland and I think that would make a great play for some reason.

I am so considering joining the theatre.

Oh did I mention Sister Patterson (NY's MAMA) showed me love on twitter and saw my pic and told me to show em off!!

It made my day!!

You all don't understand how much I love this duo, New York aka Tiffany Pollard is a sassy, spunky lady that was never tolerant of the foolishness people tried to dish at her. And did I mention there was a man involved?
Why wouldn't she be a bit of a bitch, women get that way especially over a man, but every show has to have a bad guy and Miss Diva fit the bill....

The mother/daughter relationship is strong and that's good that right or wrong they stuck together lol
But at the same time you KNOW she wasn't stupid, she carried herself in such a way that it impressed Vh1 enough to give her her own show, so now she's got money and looking great and got her mother in on it, which I personally thought was brilliant and also made sure the family always has money.  Anyways, I love them and I always love the ones everybody hates, especially because they always hold their heads high, and most people walk with shame. I'd rather see a proud person handling their business and look like they know where they're going than staring at a lost soul wandering around.

Don't let me get too deep, I know I probably lost a few of you lol

She tweeted a greeting

"Hello friends and haters ! miss you all. I don't know why ppl hate me..but anywho I GIVES NOT ONE GRAY DAMN...FO REAL DOW"

I'm not gonna lie I was skeptical about whether or not this is really her but either way I like the idea so I'll go with it lol

Then I tweeted to her

"lol hello Sister Patterson, I love you lol"

Because I do.

And here is what she said to me:

I laughed out loud and smiled from ear to ear, I love her even more now. My personality is attracted to powerful people, the daring ones that don't waste their lives worrying about the opinions of people we all know don't truly care for us or our well being. And they go about their lives, exactly as they please. That is what I desire!

That is what I indulge in, it's the sweetest feeling to have in my opinion. It's a freedom that many crave. Many people are restrained by their own mental prisons, whether it's love, or work, money issues, or social problems, they're so engulfed by that stress that they don't get the chance to live. And they're very bitter. And live their lives through celebrities,but no celeb is complaining because you guarantee they eat tomorrow. And good for them because they found their niche.

Sis Patterson and New York found theirs...
I'm learning more about mine everyday...

What are you doing?

I guess I just see NY & her mother in a different light because I'm not hating them like most of you, but then again I always did love the bad guy :) You never forget the bad guy, the bad guy/girl can be sexy and sultry, Megan Fox is the current "bad girl" and running shit. With an attitude and a smirk but she's getting things done, and I will always respect a person handling their business...even if I don't like them, I'm a woman of my word.

Love you all, I'm getting my life together.
I'm going to constantly come across problems in my way. but I'm smart and determined, so I'll get it done.

Did I mention I lost 40lbs :D

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

On 12:16 PM by KiAnna   1 comment
I can't take it!!

IF YOU ARE GHETTO AND BROKE AND IS NOT AFRAID OF GETTING ROBBED THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE!!! I've been living here since 2006 and have watched the place go from great to ghetto...and the thieves live in the neighborhood. They are mainly latin and black who are the thieves.(according to metro police) I have witnessed them in action scoping into peoples homes...oh and the greatest part of it all is that our security is in on it too!! I've watched security hang out with these thieves. There have been over 40 plus robberies in the last 3 months. The thieves will unscrew the entry lights in front of your doors, then hop over your balcony(upper level too!)pop open your WINDOW OR SLIDING DOOR, and take all of your valuables. When you come home you would be upset that they took all your belongings INCLUDING YOUR SPARE KEY TO YOUR CAR!! While you are calling the cops they are taking your car!! They are watching you!! So if you still want to live here do yourself a favor get ADT and don't forget a GUN!! - Apartment Reviews

These places are advertised so beautifully, but we all know it's lies. The photos were taken as soon as they were built and the sun was shining bright! So I rely on apartment I don't believe it's all true,but if you notice consistency and similarities through out different months in different years then you can assume something about the reviews is true. I find it hilarious sometimes what the people have to say and it really brightens my mood as I tirelessly slave away in front of my computer following leads only to be disappointed by location, dog breed restrictions (NO PITBULLS), and things of the like...

I'm trying my best not to lose my cool and freak out and it's hard when you're doing a serious move with no financial help. Idk what people think of my income or anything else, well that's not true, someone saw something old in one of my videos and said, "She said she would get a new one this month and she still got it, I thought yall said she was rich!"

What the hayle?!!

I wish.
I wish I didn't have to constantly keep my mind going for fear I may one day not have a place to sleep.
I wish I had money at my disposal, I would honestly be responsible with it and provide for many that need it.
I wish it was easy to find a new home where no family lives b/c the rent is low, your dog breed is legal and there's many ways to make money, I just have to get out there.
I wish I was all those imaginary things you all think of me b/c I'm sure life would be a little better by now. Maybe I do have a few qualities that appeal to the masses, I'm just not too clear on how to channel them into a profit so I can sincerely smile at something or someone. I wish I expressed my emotions more b/c I keep way more than you will ever know bottled up due to the knowledge of knowing my welfare is not truly your main concern, it may be your sympathy, but you have your own problems. And why should you involve yourself?
I never complain, I just state the facts no matter how hurtful they are, and I deal with them, I'm tough on myself b/c I know my potential, I'm even tougher on myself b/c I know my flaws and fear they will one day be visible and people will no longer care about me the way they previously did b/c of the fairlytale of me playing in their head will no longer be pleasant and soothing. Comforting you with the thoughts of a stronger woman out there. Why is it that the strong aren't supposed to cry?

Show no weakness? I hate vulnerability.

I don't know how this went from an apartment review laugh to this...but it's real and I write off the top of the head. SO I barely stay on topic, I bet it probably annoys people at times, sorry. But just know it comes from my heart, and even though my heart isn't your main concern I appreciate the acknowledgement. You have no idea what it means to me to know that someone cares beyond my looks b/c I have no doubt they will one day fade and I will be nothing but a shell and eyes and I will still have people laughing with me and not at me, and that will make me smile. B/c I can only hold onto the simple memories, I tend to only remember the big ones in a fuzzy way, so transparent. But the simple ones touch me, from someone I don't know feeling the need to pay attention to me for more than a minute to hear what I have to say.

Means a lot.

Why am I crying?

Friday, September 18, 2009

On 10:54 PM by KiAnna   8 comments

No other man remotely interests me anymore.
I just get annoyed when they try to hit on me, fellas you MUST understand that I don't want you.
I have found exactly what I need and want in him.
He was just here yesterday, holding me with his large arms, engulfing me, taking me into his chest and I've never felt safer.
Yet I miss him.
He's the only TRUE friend I have out here, he has always been around and I'm glad I never took him
for granted. He's proven himself to be real time after time and CONTINUES to do so, while most of the others were dismissed.
His knowledge surpasses mine yet he humbly let's me ramble.
I have never appreciated any man's flaws like I do his.
And I'll hold onto him in any way I can.
I can't fathom losing him from my life nor can I even imagine another man replacing him.
He commented yesterday, while I was wearing one of those bright green cleansing masks, which are quite ugly, that he's the only one that sees me and all my flaws.
And that he loves them all.

I don't have to try to appeal to him, I don't need to change myself.
I don't need a certain body shape, nor do I need to give of my body to keep him around.
How many of YOU men are like this?

Which picture do you prefer?
Black & White

On 2:27 AM by KiAnna   2 comments
During my photoshoot Blue kept running around enjoying himself and I caught him in the photo.

My top was falling off so I was laughing about it and he looked so excited.
Anyway, I edited two different versions and can't decide which one I like more, there is a subtle difference in the two pictures but there IS a difference.

Do you like number 1: it has more yellow tints to it

or Number 2: this has more blue tints to it

Let me know!

On 12:56 AM by KiAnna   2 comments
I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with my body...

Marlyn pointed out to me how beautiful I looked in this photo, and what he loved about me.
He always knows what to say and he knows how critical I am of myself.
I am so glad I have at least one person in this world that accepts me and all my flaws.
I find that me being critical of myself, pushes me to be better.
I'm not questioning my beauty.
I'm just never satisfied.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

On 1:32 PM by KiAnna   1 comment

"I love your hair" video

My First sew in video



Bobbi Boss
Color: #1 black
Length: 12" and 14"

Check me out
Stalk me
Add me

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

On 11:12 PM by KiAnna   2 comments
I should capture more moments like this.

look closely at the middle pic

Day 3 of 365 Day Project

On 2:49 AM by KiAnna   1 comment
This is one of the few ways I can have peace in my heart...

You know that feeling of freedom we sometimes have...
I do my best to INDULGE in it daily....
I prefer tranquility, otherwise there is stress...

Here's a Black and White version, I can't decide which one I like more...

Day 2 of my 365 Day Project

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

On 2:52 PM by KiAnna   2 comments

Day 1 of my 365 day project.

On 11:57 AM by KiAnna   No comments

I have seriously considered indulging in the field of photography lately.
Marlyn (my BFF) produces music and has many artists, so I plan on giving some of them a free photo shoot.
I say some b/c I need to eat too! lol
I feel that I should brush up on my skills a little bit and really indulge.
I realized a small passion burning for photography after seeing groups on flickr like this 365 Days.
Where I would take a photo of myself for 365 days and upload it.
The point of it in my opinion is to force myself to conjure up concepts and think outside of the box.
Here are some of the 365 photos that inspired me to try.













These are just a few...

Mine will be up soon on my flickr account

Saturday, September 12, 2009

On 11:04 AM by KiAnna in , , ,    No comments

Sorry I haven't been posting lately.

  1. I just moved into my new place
  2. Still fixing it up
  3. Trying to ensure a steady income for myself and Blue (I'm sure you can understand)
  4. I've been going through some things :/
  5. I have so much to say but not sure if anyone will be open enough to hear it
I've been doing a lot of soul searching and internal cleaning, physically, spiritually and mentally.
Using my new Nikon D60, trying to capture my "Good side" and feeling ugly in the process.
I was actually tired and sad in this photo but apparently guys see this picture as "come & get it"
Whatever, a picture is worth a thousand words...what do you see?

My latest video:

I was going into a depression stage that usually turns into an emotionless stage where I don't engage people, hardly talk and don't even smile, I swear I'm bipolar...

One thing that has lifted me up through my own personal problems is water fasting.
I recommend everyone at least fast for 24 hours, your body will flush out lots of toxins in your system, the toxins (from anything you've consumed) are what make you CRAVE the unhealthy foods you eat.
The only reason you crave salty, deep fried chicken when you haven't had it in a while is because it's still in your system...

If you flush it out, it's not like your body is desiring it...make sense?

My intention was to flush out my system and restart with healthier foods to build my system instead of tearing it down. And fasting has always been a great way for me to have a clear head, I mean how can you NOT? You're not eating!

I lost over 29 lbs so far so I'm happy :)

That shirt makes my tummy look big...smh

I did NOT lose most of that weight through fasting though....

I lost MOST of my weight by exercise, eating smaller meals, VERY STRICT on calories and sodium and KNOWLEDGE of what is GOOD for you. Most people don't know that canned food contains TONS of salt (to preserve the food I believe) and that isn't helping you let alone white bread.
I used to be obsessed with white bread until I found out it's just processed and FULL of sugar, while 100% whole wheat bread has been sitting on the counter rotting away b/c it's seemed TOO HEALTHY...

What is wrong with our society where when healthy foods and exercise are mentioned everyone starts to bitch?!!

Why don't you want to be healthy?!
I'll bet you wish you took better care of yourself when you start developing health problems!

I think our country is simply lazy and you can't blame your laziness on anyone but yourself, making excuses is what got you in that unhealthy state in the first place. (this is how I would talk to myself, only tough love works on me)

Anywhooo positive thoughts, keep me going.
I hope to finish my site soon so you can get all the tips I can offer....

Good day.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

On 7:16 AM by KiAnna   No comments

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." -- Bill Cosby

If a fact is to be established by testimony, anonymous assertion is of no value; if it can be proved, by evidence to which the public have access, it is of no consequence (for the cause of truth) who produces it. A matter of opinion derives weight from the name which is attached to it; but a chain of reasoning is equally conclusive, whoever may be its author.
-- CharlesBabbage

My interpretation (feel free to add yours):

If a fact is to be established by testimony, anonymous assertion is of no value;

If you're trying to prove a point, leaving your identity unknown won't help you;

if it can be proved, by evidence to which the public have access, it is of no consequence (for the cause of truth) who
produces it.

if everyone can access the facts themselves, there won't be a problem for the person that announced the fact.

 A matter of opinion derives weight from the name which is attached to it; but a chain of reasoning is equally conclusive, whoever may be its author

The power and acceptance of your opinion depends on your reputation, however if you can give good reasoning for your argument, that would be accepted as well.

For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant, and wrong. (H.L. Menken)

I find that to be true, for every problem, someone has a plan that seems classy and well thought out but eventually backfires.

"You only pay attention to things that are meaningful to you, So the meaning of your life is what you pay attention to." my drinking buddy, Ken (--AlistairCockburn)

 Men- You can't live with them, you can't flush them down the toilet, and who would you send to unplug it if you did? -- CindeeAndres

Knowledge is something you can use, Belief is something that uses you. -- IdriesShah

"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." -- Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower

You're damned if you do; you're damned if you don't -- BartSimpson

"I may not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it" -- MrVoltaire

according to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (5th ed. 1999 p.521), this is a misquotation "attributed to Voltaire, but in fact a later summary of his attitude by S. G. Tallentyre in The Friends of Voltaire (1907)"

Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up. - G.K. Chesterton

"I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night" (source unknown)

Friday, September 4, 2009

On 1:37 PM by KiAnna   No comments
Simply beautiful.

I tend to listen to emotional songs when I feel emotional, as opposed to listening to positive, uplifting music.
I find that it makes me FACE my problems instead of drifting off into a  dream land where all I think about is shaking my ass or something cheesy by some artist. (I don't listen to the radio anymore lol)

Song by Imogen Heap- The Moment I Said it

Here's the song

Dance Academy students doing improv and Mia Michaels' floor choreography to the song, beautiful.
My eyes were fixated on the girl in the red. Amazing.

Mia Michaels Floor Choreography

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