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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I've been Celibate for 6 months now. I didn't plan this, didn't really think about it. I made no conscious decision to avoid sexual intercourse with anyone and when I realized that it's been so long, I laughed. It's crazy to me that I haven't desired to be intimate with anyone and it's no one's fault! No one traumatized me, I just haven't allowed anyone to turn me on.  I don't want to be bothered it's as simple as that really. I can still be aroused but it doesn't make me crave intercourse, I can handle that all by myself ;)



adjective: celibate

  1. 1.abstaining from marriage and sexual relations, typically for religious reasons.

sex·u·al re·la·tions
plural noun: sexual relations
1. sexual behavior between individuals, esp. sexual intercourse.

I wasn't sure if I should call myself celibate since I masturbate so I did some googling, turns out, celibate is the right word.

"Celibacy & Masterbation are two seperate entities. To be celibate simply means to abstain from sexual intercourse - as to have actual intercourse you would need a partner. Masterbation is erotic stimulation of one's own genital organs achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies. 

So technically, you can masterbate and remain celibate it is not sexual intercourse - it is instead self gratification." -source

I feel very comfortable discussing my sex life or lack thereof, I like talking about sex. It's a natural part of life and will never get boring, the day sex becomes boring (which I don't believe will ever happen) is the day the world ends. I haven't looked into religious reasons why someone would choose to be celibate so I don't fully understand. But that's not interesting to me so I guess I never will.

What I find interesting are the many non-religious reasons why people choose to abstain, for instance to revirginize themselves.

revirginization: the process of a sexually active person attempting to regain virgin status by abstaining from sexual relations, esp. during the time just before marriage;

That's pretty silly to me but I won't analyze it, I think it's pretty obvious what that's all about.

The iVibe Rabbit Mini Silicone  is my current

"lover" lol YES THE MINI! I didn't realize until I got home and it doesn't even matter because I rarely use the shaft anyway. The vibrating rabbit is all I need :)

It was $100 and worth every penny, so many settings, and functions. Have you ever had to stifle your screams so as to not disturb your neighbor?

I can have my music up loud and they don't hear it but when I use this I have to hold back because I get LOUD. lol  This wonderful sex toy brings me joy and orgasms, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I. USE IT. Even if the batteries are low, it doesn't matter that just means I'll be able to use it on high settings without freaking out. This thing is powerful.

Try putting brand new batteries in The Rabbit and turning it to the highest vibration, THEN try holding it on your clitoris for 5 seconds. Bet ya can't do it! So yea, it's not like I NEED a partner lol no human can do what this does so you're going to have to do more than sling dick or lick.

I don't plan on remaining celibate for years to come, hell tomorrow might be the day I break my sexual fast lol (this is a lie I'm just trying to make a point) but it is nice to avoid intimacy, I rather enjoy the lack of cuddling in my life. No kissing, I'm not a big fan of that anyway. No one taking up space in my bed, I LIKE MY BED! I LIKE HAVING THE WHOLE DAMN THING TO MYSELF! Sleeping alone is fine with me lol

I know the next person I invite into my life will have to be pretty freakin special, I really have to be into you and you have to bring A LOT to the table. I honestly wouldn't be interested if you didn't, if all you have to offer is a penis or a tongue, take yo ass to the club and find you something easy. Because easy I. am. not. Guys say the stupidest shit, "You ain't been fucking with the right guys, they don't know how to hold you, kiss, you, lick you,etc." "All you need is some good dick and I got that right here." And so on.

Apparently some people's brains are incapable of comprehending the lack of desire one might have to fuck. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME PLEASE UNDERSTAND AND RESPECT THAT SIR!

Because like I said before, if all you have to offer is a penis or a tongue, take yo ass to the club and find you something easy. Because easy I. am. not. I don't want to have conversation, I don't want to be "friends" (Which is code for fuck buddies these days) I don't want to chill and smoke a blunt with you, I don't want to bust it open for a "real nigga", I don't want to be romanced, wined and dined, caressed, cuddled, kissed, swooned, loved. Yes, loved. I don't want any form of romantic love, I don't want a picket fence I don't want "side dick", there's nothing you can offer at this moment (this moment could last for a long time) except business opportunities, partnerships, money, That I Earn. Influence, Connections, Charismatic conversation, throw in some humor, let's relax, then get back to work.

I want to build an empire, I want to be successful, VERY successful. I want to remain focused on my goals, I don't want nor do I need a partner at this moment. They are distractions for me. This is not why I have not allowed anyone in my bedroom, I just felt I should share how I feel about relationships. As stated before, I don't want to be bothered, there's nothing I feel anyone has to offer me that would result in a physical relationship.

People will readily accept a man saying, "I don't want a girlfriend/wife/love" People will totally get it and call him a bachelor, a business man, a go getter. He may not be celibate but I'm focused on the Love aspect now. It's socially acceptable for a man to never give his heart to a woman and "play the field" or whatever but if a woman doesn't want love, then there's something wrong with her. LOL

WHY? Why can't a woman be content with success and spirituality? Why is society so focused on a woman's "need" to marry and procreate? But not a man's?

My question actually reminds me of the excerpt from "We should all be feminists: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie" that Beyonce used in her song Flawless

We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls
You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes

I think that's enough for now. I feel good sharing this lol

I made this video last year (still during my unknown celibacy)


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